written by Sandy Zhang, ALMFT
New Year, new mom? Resolutions can be helpful in setting an intention for the start of a new calendar year. But what are some useful resolutions to make? Parents can have an extra hard time focusing their energy as they juggle their own needs with the task of parenting. Read on to see how a therapist, and a mother of two lovable boys, is resolving to live with intention in 2020…
I know, I know— the New Year Resolutions only keep us good till January 17th, and then there’s no way to bypass that depressing question— “how many inches of snow have we got this morning!?”
Well here they are, my three resolutions:
1) Give myself extra time in the morning
This is so I don’t feel I have to finish ten tasks in one minute and be overwhelmed with anxiety. I remember those moments when I panicked as I was shoveling my way out (“OMG we’ll be tardy AGAIN!”), or yelled to the kids while cleaning the car (“Snow pants, snow boots—stop arguing with your brother and finish your milk NOW!!!”).
Every morning can be such a train crash (It doesn’t only happen in your family, I promise). Time management in the morning sounds like a survival hack of its own. It is worth the effort to make everybody start the day peacefully (or at least somewhat!). I would feel like a super mom if my kids didn’t get yelled at in the morning.
Now that first resolution is BIG. My second one shall be relatively easy:
2) Continue our family habit of dining out on Saturday mornings
One thing I didn’t enjoy about my clinical internship was that I had to work every Saturday for 8 hours. I missed all the school fun fairs, chess tournaments, martial art tests, and everything else on Saturdays. So this school year we decided to treat ourselves and have a “family date” every other Saturday morning, which has worked well for our schedule and our finances. I do often wonder if I need those “family dates” more than my kids do. It feels so nice to start the weekend with a good breakfast (that I don’t have to make myself), and with my loved ones. And then I feel more motivated to work for the rest of the day, and the rest of the week.
3) Continue to take time for self-care and fun
Moms deserve to have “self-time” and “social time”—for me that means painting by myself or having coffee with a friend. I believe I can only take good care of my family AFTER taking care of myself—how much can a physically exhausted and emotionally drained mom offer, after all? Putting self-care on my calendar is a significant way I love my husband and my children. Yes, let me mark the dates right now… (And three resolutions are good enough for a mom! They don’t stick when there are too many!)